Hey Ladies:
Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like God is testing you? That He is looking to see if you really have forgiven and let go of all the stinkin thinkin in your life?? It really is like a true heart exam - is it clogged or is the blood flowing freely. Well I recently had a day like this where I had a lunch encounter and the two greatest hurts that I ever experienced I was faced with my perpetrators... OUCH.. I felt completely sandwiched in by the enemy and like a baby deer away from the herd feeling very vulnerable.

One of the violators had even greeted me with a kiss on my cheek. My heart was tested right then "had I really forgiven, had I let go". I have to tell you that the first thought that raced through my mind when I was greeted was JUDAS.... but then as the Holy Spirit began to check my heart I instantly felt like - WOW I didn't hurt anymore.

Isn't it funny how our mind at times can be a hiding place for our thoughts? If the human ear could hear what their fellow sister thought it would be murderess. Taking it captive is the key and not even allowing it to germinate in our mind or heart is vital. I can face this person and feel free. I don't need to hear "please forgive me how I hurt you" because I had already worked through the hurt countless hours with the Lord. I had told God years before, it was unfair what happened, I am angry and mad, thrown my tantrums, how can I let him off the hook so easy but the Lord kept saying forgive. The image I received was Jesus hanging on a cross, spit on beaten, mocked and him saying with his last breath "Father forgive them for they know not what they do". I wrestled with the thoughts, but they are Christians, they do know what they have done. I love the way God deals with me, He lets me vent and be ugly and then He gently restores my mind with His thoughts. My circumstance was not to the level that Jesus had received and would I be able to give my last breath away to forgiveness. As I contemplated this scenario I thought Lord I can only forgive if you give me the strength. So I released forgiveness in faith.

There were many days that the hurt would resurface and some other circumstance would appear and cause me to remember my pain of this one because of the similarities, but a daily choice to forgive caused me to go beyond my feelings and make my will submit to forgiveness. The easy part was that I had not had to face the people over the course of years of dealing with my forgiveness quest. Recently the true challenge was put before me, its time to face them. Surprised to be in the situation and no time to think about a reaction my day of the exam was here. Maybe the best way to describe it would be a POP QUIZ....Although my initial response was JUDAS when receiving the greeting, I felt a peace come over me and a release flood my soul. No expectations of repentance, no need for apologies, no acceptance of responsibility required.

I was free, my heart was pure. It felt so amazing to know that the years of pain that I carried was gone and even the residue was past me. Wiser from the situation, taking responsibility for my own actions, learning from mistakes, surrendering my rights to be right, I felt that I past the test and rose victorious as I faced off with my biggest hurdle.

Why am I writing this to you ladies as my first blog??? Well as I lead the women of Victory Worship Center and gather the troops, my goal is to lead by transparency and realness. One motto I live by is THE REAL DEAL. I am a typical woman that struggles through life just like anyone else. But I don't think God takes us through these life experiences just to grow us but as we share our testimonies it makes us tangible and run to each other's side. We need each other, we need relationship, we need to pick each other up and challenge each other in truth. We need to be real with one another and break down the walls so we can link together and unite.

Second reason I felt compelled to share this experience is that I feel like one of the greatest walls that we put up as women is UNFORGIVENESS. God wants us to shatter the walls and it takes our willingness to release. I guarantee that you will launch into victory in every aspect of your life as you live free from unforgiveness. The devil has no foothold in your life as you begin to let people go. I have a passion to see women reach their full potential and destiny. It cannot be accomplished without forgiveness as a daily discipline in our lives.

Master this and you will see not only your life renewed and blessed but even your children and those you affect in life. May God bless you and lift you up this very moment.

In His Hands Brigette V. Metcalf Women's Pastor